Breaking the Rules

We have rules, regulations, expectations, and all sorts of things that try to govern the way we act and even how we think.

I think it is natural for us to rebel against that. A part of us wants to have freedom and be empowered. And sometimes there are situations where it seems these don't even make sense. And then we feel upset, sometimes used, and weakened. We often just want to fight back against all the injustice. I have felt like this many times.

So, why do we have all these rules if they just frustrate us so much?

I have discovered that there is usually a reason for all the rules. Sometimes it is because we are being manipulated. But more often, I have discovered that there were some good reasons for the rules that I didn't completely understand. Even if there were exceptions, the rules helped keep me safe and/or helped me to understand situations before I had to have difficult experiences.

At the same time, in scripture, we are often taught that eventually, we will "have no more disposition to do evil". In my thinking, I would no longer want to break commandments. I felt like at some point I would attain that perfect goodness where I would just be above temptation and no longer have that "evil" or "natural man" part of myself that wanted to do bad things.

When we were young children, most of us had a rule not to touch a hot stove. When we were young, we didn't yet understand how we would get burned if we touched the stove, but our parents kept us away and told us we couldn't touch it because we would get burned. And we may not have really understood what getting burned meant. That's why there was a rule. That's why we had parents and other responsible people looking out for us.

What if works that way for other things too? At some point, we have a much better understanding of the damage a hot stove can do if we touch it. And we no longer want to touch the stove. What if, as we follow rules and expectations, we learn more things? And as we learn, experience, and understand things better, then we have no desire to do those things that may harm us. With better knowledge and understanding, the rules aren't as necessary. We no longer want to do things that harm us. It is not because we are achieving this "godly state" unless, by a "godly state", that means we are learning and growing. And perhaps it is.

And as we have learned the reasons for the rules and better understand the risks of not following them, it is then that we can make better decisions about exceptions to rules. But often we must practice obeying rules in order to understand when they might be broken.

In his book, "Falling Upward", Richard Rohr talks about two halves of life. He says the first half is when we are practicing obedience to rules and learning how that works. It gives us the foundation and container for when we are able to see things with more nuance and start to break rules at times and see the gray areas. But, we cannot make informed decisions about the second half of life without the foundation of the first half of life and gaining an understanding of the rules. If you don't have a good idea of why the rule was made, you may want to reconsider breaking it.

Understanding this has taken away much of the frustration with the rules and expectations I have encountered in my life. When I can confidently make my decisions about the rules with knowledge, I don't have to need others to agree. I can weigh the consequences and feel good about what I have decided.