A “virtuous” woman

I heard in church on Sunday, someone talked about In KJV, Proverbs 31:10, it reads, "Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies." 

The speaker talked about how this was an example of how valued women were. 

My mind went to the idea that I was often taught that a "virtuous woman" was one who dressed modestly and who didn't have sex before marriage.  I thought about how, in some cultures, a woman that wasn't "virtuous" or "sexually pure" was thought of as worthless and dirty and was hidden away in shame or in some cases, was even maimed or killed. 

I thought of how saying there was a "price" for a woman made it feel like a woman is a possession.

But a woman was speaking in a meeting of how this was such a compliment for women. 

Then, I thought, "what is virtue or being virtuous?" In virtue ethics, it talks about doing the right thing for the right reason.  In the Collins English Dictionary, it says virtue is "thinking and doing what is right and avoiding what is wrong."

So, our sexual behavior is only one component of virtue.  It is more right to say that virtue is being aligned with the things that we know or believe are right and true.  

So, what if I then understood this scripture to mean that a virtuous woman was one who bravely acted in accordance with her beliefs of truth and right?  What if I then understood her not to be a possession with a price tag, but a being above being able to have a price? 

I believe that God loves women.  God sees the value of women.  It is no less that that of a man.  It can be different, but no less.  But the world has interpreted and misstated God's words for so long and in so many ways that we often feel that God thinks less of women.  Or we feel that God's servants and church on the earth think less of women.  God has never thought less of women.  However, His servants who run His church on the earth, have often fallen short of correctly expressing God's love and ideas on this.  Some have done this with the evil intent of putting down and controlling women.  Some have done this more with misunderstanding.  But both have done great harm to women over the years.

While we want to correct the oppression and misunderstanding, the good news is that we don't have to wait for the church and its leaders to change in order for us to change and improve our relationship with God.  We can understand our place with God and have a relationship with Him no matter what church or leaders say and do.  Our relationship with God is not monitored by anyone else.  We get to have access to our God whenever and wherever we choose Him and need Him.  We can choose to interpret God's scripture and words in a way that assumes God's love and respect for women and for all.  When I believe that God loves me without condition and I decide to look at everything He says and does with that lens, it changes things.  It changes me.  It changes my relationship to God and Christ.

I can still work on changing the narrative in the world around me.  And I see value in that.  But I don't have to wait for that to change me.

We can work on changing you. In only the ways that feel good to you.